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Excerpt from A Week in Agony. . .Texas
Carla and Charlie move in

"You gotta be kidding-right?"

"No, Charlie, I think this is it."

"You mean. . .we got no indoor plumbing what-so-ever?"

"It appears so, no bathroom, no plumbing except for the kitchen sink." Carla shook her head and opened the door to the outhouse. The smell seized hold of her nervous system, yanking loose a gag-reflex. "Oh, goodness! That's. . .foul!" She slammed the door shut, sending a flurry of winged insects into a gray cloud around the structure.

"It needs a new hole!" said an ancient woman with a scratchy voice that sounded like rusty hinges opening suddenly. "Y'all just moving in?"

"Oh. . ." Carla said. She turned and took-in the old woman. "Yes, we are." She extended her hand toward the woman who took it; the older hand felt like gristle-covered bones and sand paper. "I'm Carla Speck and this is my son Charlie."

"Why!" The woman slapped both bony hands on her rail-like thighs, "You're Nelley's young'uns! I'm Tootie Siles-nice to meet you both."

"Well, Tootie? That's right. I married her nephew Carl. She left him the house when she past away."

"Well sure she did. Didn't want to see it go to strangers-lord no, can't be having that, no telling who'd of ended up in this ole place."

The old crone gave Charlie and Carla a good gazing over, and then her rummy eyes went back to the boy. "You gonna get to work digging your Momma here a new hole soes she don't have to do her unmentionable doings out here in a live varmint's nest?"

"I dunno. . ." Charlie shrugged. He hadn't planned or even remotely counted on outdoor facilities. Never once in his young life had he ever given a grain of thought to how one digs a hole, much less one used under an out house.

"You know how to operate a shovel-don't you?" Tootie pinned Charlie down with a stern questioning look of appraisal.

"He's never used a shovel before I'm afraid," Carla came to his rescue. "Charlie was born and raised in the city-Chicago to be exact."

"Chicago?" Tootie seemed stunned, as if she'd been told they were from the European eastern block. "They don't use shovels up yonder?"

"Well. . ." Carla came in again, "Not where we lived. It was an apartment building and. . . anyhow, it can't be all that difficult-can it?"

Tootie broke out in full laughter. "Oh, lord no, hell far I can show you real quick like. Look yonder, boy." She pointed with a gnarled finger, "See that long thing a-leaning against the back of the house? Has a blade down at one end? That there's

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