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Divorce can be the biggest trauma of your life. Many people have come to therapy because of the psychological challenges and problems they are facing with their divorce. Often these clients are suffering from symptoms of acute stress disorder, which manifests itself in feeling shattered, fragmented, and overwhelmed. The following tips can be extremely helpful in situations of severe stress. Divorce is definitely one of these situations. These tips are, of course, applicable to all sorts of traumas, so "borrow" them for any other kind of trauma or crisis that comes your way in life.

Part of the problem is that your repertoire of coping tools isn't working for you. When you and your partner split up it can be the worst crisis you've ever experienced. The fourteen suggestions that follow are meant to be used over time. You can't integrate and follow through on these ideas in one sitting. Review and think about as much as you can take in today. Tomorrow is another day, your process of healing is unique to you and you've got to respect that now more than ever. Here are your sanity savers. Use these ten tips and save your sanity:

1. What has helped you in past crises? Think about this and write down your answers, that way you can begin initiating some of these behaviors.

2. Time is the great healer. With time, you'll know what to do. This crisis feels interminable, but it will pass Listen to yourself. Respect your process and your instinctual feelings.

3. Trauma is always most severe when it is of human design. Its all the worse when the person causes you the trauma is the person you once loved and adored.

4. Talk is the best tool for treating trauma. You may be seeing a counselor or therapist, but who else could you talk to in between visits? Friends? Family? Clergy?

5. Get support from people who can offer praise, hope, positive reflection, and help you realize that you can find humor even in this traumatic time in your life.

6. Partialize: You feel overwhelmed by the symptoms of your trauma. Break down your tasks and tackle them in small manageable parts, one at a time.

7. Universalize: Anyone going through a divorce feels as badly as you do.

8. Don't catastrophize your situation. Granted, you're in a bad place but you're not going to let it become your ruination. You may feel like you're going crazy, but you're not. You have the symptoms of acute stress disorder. They get better with time. Live your life a day at a time. Stay in the present and don't let yourself become overwhelmed with thoughts of the future.

9. Don't let your divorce drag you down. Right actions lead to right thinking: don't start feeling sorry for yourself and wallow in self-pity.
Honor your obligations: respect and cultivate people in your life.
Behave in a way that you don't feel like behaving to honor your work, friends, children and your family of origin. It will help you feel better.

10. What spiritual tools are available to you? Prayer and worship, reflections on gratitude and service to the community will all help.

Learn more about this author, Mark Sichel.
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