by Dossie M Terrell

Created on: August 05, 2008   Last Updated: August 14, 2010

It is possible to have a successful relationship, however, you should have some expectation about what role it plays in the overall scheme of your life. Each person you bring into your life should have a purpose. Moreover, you should know what your purpose is in life and how such a relationship will enhance it.  There are certain attributes to which, at a minimum, each relationship should aspire, among which are the following:

DO NOT BOX YOURSELF INTO A CORNER
You should have a sense of independence in your relationship, do not ever become needy and clingy. You should continue to seek  new experiences and new opportunities in your desire to learn something new that will enhance you. Do not feel threatened when your friend look for those same qualities in others. Just because you are friends does not mean you are joined at the hips. If each of you is not allowed to have friends or seek new adventures, it may be a clue to sever ties. Life is about growing.

DO NOT BE AFRAID TO LISTEN TO OPPOSING VIEWS
Listen to your friend's views, even if they differ from your own thinking. It is through intellectual diversity and verbal gymnastics that allow you to learn and grow in your relationship. If you make friends only with those who think like you, sooner of later you will bore each other to death. Your friend's point of view may assist in changing any unrealistic perceptions you have of yourself or things in general, and may aid you to become the real you, which may have the effect to engender a  more fruitful and enduring relationship.

DO NOT BE AFRAID TO EMULATE ROLE MODELS
Go ahead and adopt some of the attitudes and behaviors of others you respect and admire. Try to determine what motivates their thinking, ascertain how they respond to different situations in their lives, and focus on their interpersonal skills. If you want to determine whether you are progressing, seek out a third person and test your new skills on him or her. Learn to appreciate constructive criticism from your friend.

DO NOT INTERRUPT YOUR FRIEND
When you converse with your friend, listen with all your senses. Do not pretend to listen as you formulate a response, your body language will give you away. Determine whether you are being asked for input or whether your friend needs a sounding board. There is nothing more irritating than receiving

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