"You get in here, Mister!" shouted the text to the exclamation point. "You are a punctuation mark and you belong inside these quotation marks! It is much too dangerous for you to be wandering around the page by yourself!" the text continued. "Do you want to end up at the end of some melancholy monologue where you don't belong? Do you know what effect that could have?"
The exclamation point drooped, ashamed.
"No, no, no!" the text scolded. "Now you look like a comma! Straighten up!"
"Nothing I ever do is good enough for you!" the exclamation point screeched, italicized. "How should I know where to be and not to be?"
"You must learn your place as an exclamation point. If not, you could destroy the lives of articles, short stories, and even novels! So many hard-working writers pour their heart, soul, and sweat into writing that stuff. Who are you to ruin it?"
"Well, then, perhaps those writers should put me in my place. After all, isn't that their idea of a good time?"
The text sighed, thinking, "This is hopeless."
PUNCTUATING DIALOGUE
Punctuating dialogue sounds a lot more complicated than it actually is. Within your quotation marks, punctuate everything the same way as you would outside of the quotation marks. However, always remember that the last punctuation mark should be tucked neatly inside the closing quotation mark, like this:
"No, no, no!" the text scolded.
See how the exclamation point is inside the quotation marks? This is true with commas, question marks, dashes, and other punctuation that falls inside the closing quotation mark. The only exception is with periods. If I wanted to put a period at the end of "No, no, no" instead of an exclamation point, I would have to use a comma, like this:
"No, no, no," the text scolded. It is incorrect to write: "No, no, no." the text scolded. If you remove the tag because it is clear the reader who the speaker is, then you are free to place the period after the third "no." TAGS Tags are the tricky part. Tags are those little labels that describe who is saying what and in what tone. In the example above the tag is "the text scolded." This is an easy one. It is simply positioned after the end quote and ends with a period.
If the text continues (as it does in the following examples), place your punctuation accordingly.
"No, no, no!" the text scolded. "Now you look like a comma! Straighten up!"
Note that if the exclamation point were any other punctuation mark, it would still remain where it is. If the text inside the two sets of quotation marks were parts of the same sentence, you would place a comma inside the first set of quotes, and then continue inside the second set of quotation marks. For example:
"Well, then," the exclamation point huffed, "perhaps those writers should put me in my place."
Notice that a comma follows the tag. A period would be incorrect in this case.
You may sometimes want to place the tag before the quotation. You can do so by placing either a comma or a colon after the tag, before the opening quotation mark. Here are a few examples which are all grammatically correct:
The text scolded, "No, no, no!"
The exclamation point huffed: "Well, then, perhaps those writers should put me in my place."
QUOTES WITHIN QUOTES
Quotes within quotes should be encased in single quotation marks (these' not "these"), and the other rules still apply. Here are two correct examples:
"'You get in here, Mister!'" the exclamation point mocked.
Boldfaced, the exclamation point said: "You just said, So many hard-working writers pour their heart, soul, and sweat into writing that stuff,' but if that is the case, why should I bother?"
Notice that the end punctuation (the comma) is still tucked inside the single quotation marks. I also could have placed a period after stuff,' instead of the comma. If I did this, I would have to capitalize the word "but," since it would then become the beginning of another sentence.
INTERNAL DIALOGUE
When punctuating internal dialogue (thoughts), follow the same rules as with external dialogue. However, internal thoughts can be either set inside of quotation marks or italicized. My personal preference is the latter, but since italics are unavailable on Helium, I used quotation marks the the text and the beginning of this article. In either case, you should specify that the dialogue is internal. With italics, you can sometimes get away without specifying (as in a piece with no external dialogue), but specifications help with clarity.
Simple enough, right? If you are still having a hard time figuring out how to properly punctuate, ignore each and every one of these rules and find yourself a really good proofreader.