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Humor: Race car drivers

by Curtis Clontz

Created on: August 05, 2008   Last Updated: November 24, 2008

Red neck round-a-round is the favorite past time for many in the United States. It is a sport that puts power of the engine and fines of the drive on center stage as 43 incredible stock car pilots challenge one another to be the first to cross the finish line. These drivers are some of the most charismatic people in sports today. Names such as Boris, Dale, Tony, or Juan are all ones that you will hear on race day. Think about it, in a sport that was started by running illegal alcohol, how boring could it be? Speaking of runnin' shine, this sport was indeed created by people racing like the Dukes of Hazzard with mason jar's full of moonshine. They had to be fast and drive well. next thing you know they invented what is called motor racing.

Like every sport, the athletes or personalities can make or break it. If you would rather see two guys boringly make slow chess move after chess move then this is the wrong sport for you, but if you like rubbin's racing, bump drafting, and the occasional pit scuffle then this is for you!

Tony Stewart is possibly the most colorful driver in racing. He is known for his loud and at times obnoxious mouth! He has been known to fight with officials and other drivers. He has thrown his helmet and cursed on national television.

Dale Jr. on the other hand decided to spread his racing wings when he left his step mother and decided to race for another team. He is the most popular driver in all of motor sports and accounted for more than half of the profit in the DEI incorporation. Dale was the first ever driver to be a part of what other sports call Free Agency. He took his money, name, and crew chief and ran to where the green flows and the engines don't die!

Talk about contravercial... Danika Patrick is far more than contravercial. She is a bundle of energy that she shows everytime she gets on the track. many people had said that if she was a man they would punch her square in the jaw! She has a mean streak on her that would scare a skunk. She has to have the last word and does not care who she is talking too. She has picked fights with women and men just the same, exept it seems to be that the men are on the other side of the argument more due to the large number of them. She should be a boxer or begin training mixed martial arts. She could be the next opponent for Gina Carano on CBS' saturday Night Fights! Patrick is known for being the lead in women's racing world wide. Often times she is on the outside of the winner's circle looking in, but she has been able to win 1 race in her tenure as a pro driver. With her there is never any clue of what she will do next, but you can bet she will do something to be in the news.

Many love this sport for the crashes! Many love it for the good ol American Muscle. While others just love itwellbecause! The sport has grown tremendously throughout the many generations and continues to do so every day. The officials work overtime to make sure that the drivers are safe. The drivers work to make sure that they go fast! One thing is for sure, "If you're not first, your last!"

Learn more about this author, Curtis Clontz.
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