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Though some might want to have a large group of friends, it is actually better to have a small group. Your definition of a friend, of course, will determine your preference, but if you're talking about real, true friends who will be there with you through good times and bad, most of us are lucky if we have a small group.

Having a small group of friends also gives you a much better chance of cultivating deep and meaningful relationships. With a large group of friends, you may quickly find that you're spreading yourself too thin and not giving any of your particular relationships the time and attention they deserve. With a large group of friends, you wind up either having many individuals moving into and dropping out of the circle or you wind up with a lot of acquaintances rather than real friends.

There is nothing wrong with having lots of acquaintances and casual friends. It's actually something we should all strive for. If you treat people with respect and are a genuinely warm, open and friendly person, you will wind up knowing lots of people and it will even appear that you have a large group of friends. However, when things get tough and you need someone you can really count on to provide a shoulder to cry on, genuine support or even help with a problem, you'll likely find that the list of people you would consider reaching out to is considerably smaller than the list of people you socialize with or speak to in public.

Small groups of friends seem to function better on a social level as well. When try to mix too many different types of personalities in one group, you will inevitably end up with conflict and division. While this happens in smaller groups of friends, it is usually less often and less intense. With a smaller group, conflict resolution is usually easier to achieve.

Communication is easier and more effective within a small group of friends than a large group simply because it is easier to maintain. It's easier for communication to become distorted and misunderstood when it has to travel through more channels. Ineffective communication is one of the surest ways to destroy any relationship, including friendship.

While it is admirable to strive to have many friends, it is wiser to work on developing fewer close friendships. It is also much easier to make them grow and thrive when you don't try to take on more than you can handle. If you're finding it difficult to find time to spend maintaining your friendships, perhaps it's time to take a look at narrowing your focus a little.

Learn more about this author, Bruce W. Coffman.
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