by Paul Lines

Created on: August 05, 2008

GOOD GRIEF

If elephants wore cardboard shoes
And tigers tails were full of holes
If kangaroos could learn the waltz
And monkey ate with knife and fork
What would the bishop say?

If camel humps were made of brick
And pythons lived in Turkish baths
Even if the fish could blow a rasp
And spiders live in a pint of milk
How could the butler see?

If polar bears could drive a bus
And reindeer ran the house of lords
While pelicans are cooking tea
A woodworm built a factory
How could the Actor live?

If hedgehogs lived in Harley street
And worms could live on cabbage clouds
If apes could join the MI5
And ants could play the big brass drum
Who would the policeman book?

If sea-lions learnt to read a poem
And dingo's also sang a song
If Grasshoppers could write like this
And wasps were judges, then perhaps
I'd leave this padded cell?

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