I've been on many diets before
Counting calories what a bore
I've cut back carbs and cut out fat
Trying to make my stomach flat
I think I was not meant to be
A skinny minx, it's not in me
I love my cake and eat it too
How could I ever say adieu
To sticky toffee, treacle sponge
I simply cannot take the plunge
To swear off foods I love to eat
When chocolate is just such a treat
Chips and peanuts, cheesy sticks
I have to have my regular fix
Of grandma's scones with cream and jam
Or buttered toast with cheese and ham
My mouth it waters even now
To forfeit these I cannot vow
For dieters what joy is there
In eating water and fresh air
Or sitting down to a hearty dish
Of salad leaves with a fleck of fish
Branflakes for breakfast with a drop or two
Of extra-skimmed milk colored blue!
Not for me a celery stick
And a bowl of seeds on which to pick
I will love my cake and eat it too
And this is the advice from me to you
Start the diet again next week
There's always time to improve your physique