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I've been on many diets before
Counting calories what a bore
I've cut back carbs and cut out fat
Trying to make my stomach flat
I think I was not meant to be
A skinny minx, it's not in me

I love my cake and eat it too
How could I ever say adieu
To sticky toffee, treacle sponge
I simply cannot take the plunge
To swear off foods I love to eat
When chocolate is just such a treat

Chips and peanuts, cheesy sticks
I have to have my regular fix
Of grandma's scones with cream and jam
Or buttered toast with cheese and ham
My mouth it waters even now
To forfeit these I cannot vow

For dieters what joy is there
In eating water and fresh air
Or sitting down to a hearty dish
Of salad leaves with a fleck of fish
Branflakes for breakfast with a drop or two
Of extra-skimmed milk colored blue!

Not for me a celery stick
And a bowl of seeds on which to pick
I will love my cake and eat it too
And this is the advice from me to you
Start the diet again next week
There's always time to improve your physique

Learn more about this author, Vicki Niedzielska.
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