by Ms. Alisha Rose

Created on: August 05, 2008   Last Updated: January 19, 2009

What was once a positive, can lose the power it holds and become something else. Through time, it can gather strength and reclaim it's identity. Words define meanings. There can always be a way to turn something around and become or return to a positive meaning and effect.

Born during the Carter presidency, I was later old enough to understand that there had been a wave of change. With it, much chaos and frustration through the eighties. There was slander to slaughter and even blame for a medical epidemic outbreak. The nineties and currently, much judgement and continued deliberate shame for anyone who batted and eyelash toward someone of the same sex. Before the slander, were words that had good solid meanings.

How to hold a fag. That was the title of something I had written on a website about five years ago. As I had suspected, many viewers had flown over in numbers to read what I had written. It was not about homosexuals. It was about cigarettes! I wrote about how a friend explained that I was holding my cigarettes improperly. Then, I gave a detailed description on how a female should hold a fag. In Britain, the common word for cigarette is Fag. My readers were a bit disappointed.

Growing up, I watched old movies. Mostly black and white films with actors dancing and singing. They gallivanted across the screen joyously singing about being gay. Back then, this word defined a person as happy. To my dismay, as I grew up, this word would be described as something else. Being young, I had to ask what the difference was. In the end, being told I would understand when I was older. Hushed, I walked out of that room only understanding that being gay, meant being happy and jubilant. Soon, I would no longer be confused, but upset and hurt that people would use such good words, in a hateful manner.

Something strange meant something queer and unusual. Unfortunately, these few words, among many others, have been used in various negative ways. I hope to reinstate their original meanings by using them just as they were meant to be. I would ask my friend in public if I was holding my fag correctly. This had heads turn, but they did not ask questions when they saw a cigarette in my hand.

There are ways to express ourselves without using a homosexual reference. For example, someone will ask how I am doing. If I am happy, I reply that I am feeling gay. Eventually, people will pick up that these words can be commonly used everyday. All humans have a right to be who they are in their hearts. No word defines any individual. It is memories, love each individual shares with others, and so much more.

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