I had an easy time coming out. It was 1974 and I lived in the Castro District in San Francisco. I was 20 and Harvey Milk was the owner of the local camera store. I used to go to his shop on errands for a friend who was an aspiring photographer.
Harvey would occasionally greet me with a lascivious smile. I was just coming out and he was at least twenty years older than I. One time I gave him a look that said "hey, the power imbalance just isn't fair here" and he eventually gave it a rest.
Everyone was "out" who worked for Harvey and massive numbers of gay men were arriving in the Castro and coming out to family, friends, relatives and coworkers. That made it much easier for me.
We were all taking it one courageous step at a time and our collective strength formed a movement which lives on today. At the time we could feel this great exhilaration, we were certain we were expanding hearts and opening minds for future generations. Hearts and minds that had been closed for thousands of years.
Among gay men real community support was developing. It was authentic support fueled by an unwillingness to live in denial one minute longer. There was also a strength based on the power of honesty. A truth telling power which would prove vital in the years ahead.
As a result I don't get why the '70s have been labeled the "me" generation. That was certainly not my experience. On the contrary, for anyone in proximity to Harvey Milk or the Castro District it was unmistakably the "us" generation in the most life affirming way. Through our group effort we gay men were flourishing and the city sparkled with new life.
Then came HIV which tested the "us" in more ways than anyone cares to remember.
Now, in 2008 we are living in an America in which we don't have all the gas we need to feed our thirsty cars, we are in terrible debt and our people are terrified about those who hate us enough to light us on fire by flying planes into our buildings.
Rather than leveling with us, our leaders spend their time and energy on endless petty distractions. Among the populous, an honest dialog about what is going on gets obscured by massive fear, toxic attitudes and just plain nonsense. Yes, life in America is now like living in one big dysfunctional and very unchristian family.
What a nightmare!
We need a new "us" generation. A much bigger "us" generation than we ever saw in one tiny neighborhood back in San Francisco in 1974. It is an "us" generation in which the millions who "came out" have a leadership role.
After all, it was the ones who had to "come out" who learned to be honest with themselves enough to awaken from the dysfunctional lies they were told about their lives. It was they who then had to develop the courage to tell the "difficult" truth and find supportive friends and families. It was they who found ways of using the temporary euphoria and liberated energy for constructive, life affirming contributions. There are great leaders among us.
That is why it is an exciting time for me. I see the promise in this next generation coming up. Everyone, gay and straight, tranny and bi, whatever. To all of them I'd like to say, "We all need your honesty now, perhaps in more ways than anyone may ever know."