by Samantha Herron

Created on: August 03, 2008   Last Updated: August 04, 2008

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

You've heard the term used by many spiritual leaders, speakers and others, but few of them given a meaning to this high-sounding phrase. What does it mean and what does it take to, not only aspire to it, but achieve it?

The dictionary defines unconditional as "limited by no conditions; absolute." It defines love as "a deep devotions or affection for another person or persons" (the first of nine definitions). Combining these definitions, unconditional love then means "a deep devotion or affection for another person or persons which is absolute and limited by no conditions."

The most commonly understood meaning of unconditional love is love for someone that doesn't alter no matter what. Stated solely, in this manner, it smacks of "turn the other cheek" and also self-denial and masochism. Conditions that sooner or later will result in resentment.

Both of these definitions are simplifications of what unconditional love really is. Theres a great deal that needs to be understood about who we are before we can see the true meaning behind the words of these definitions.

First is the realization that we are all spiritual beings in corporeal bodies. In spirit, there is no doubt that we love each other unconditionally because we are all part of one another. We are each pieces of the greater Whole. In our normal waking state few of us remember this on a day-to-day basis.

Because of the separation from the messages and wisdom of the spirit - the higher self, our ego selves set limitations, usually based on our expectations of what will keep us safe and happy, on the love we have to share with others.

Have you ever dreamed of the perfect friend, lover, boss, or teacher? It's only human to do so, but these "dreams" aren't necessarily based in reality. Just the same, we do expect someone to come along to live up to them. We project these expectations and desires onto other people. When they don't live up to our expectations, we withdraw our love, feeling cheated.

Unconditional love cannot be possible until we come from that place of the spirit. This happens through an understanding of oneself and feeling secure in that knowledge. It also comes from the realization that each of us is unique, individual and different. It comes from a release of the desperations, we all feel at one time or another, of looking for others to fulfill our wants and needs. (For no one but each of us can do that for ourselves.)

Unconditional love flows from the higher (spiritual) self, not the normal waking (ego) self. It is a transcendental quality achieved and received during meditation and other techniques of becoming self-aware. Unconditional love, in its unmanifested state, is not directed at anything. It is a state of being, a vibration within ones being, that subtly alters ones former awareness.

This new awareness allows us to view others in a new way. We can now put ourselves in the other person's shoes (so to speak) and understand how it might feel to be in that position. It also brings the awareness that when we are not exhibiting "perfect" behavior, we still wish to receive love.

This new awareness and understanding will add to our compassion for others. However, that doesn't mean you won't ever feel angry or frustrated at another person. If you're coming from your true self, your spirit, you will truly express what you are feeling at that moment, realizing that if you are walking on the path of truth and unconditional love, you also will be loved - no matter what. What it does mean is that you will understand your feelings of frustration/anger and understand that you still love the other person and understand that you can both grow from the experience if you are both willing to confront it.

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