by Sandra Laraine Coleman

Created on: January 06, 2007   Last Updated: April 25, 2007

I am the mother of a 13 year old and I am wondering what happened to my baby? You know the cute cuddly kid I brought home from the hospital. The one that adored me and did everything I said. The one that wanted to go everywhere with me. She kept nothing from me. Our conversations were meaningful and we spent a great deal of time together talking, laughing, living, learning and loving.

Now I find myself having to pull teeth to get her to tell me anything. No more mommy and me time because she wants to be with her friends and/or watch TV or go on-line (darn that myspace). None of these things include me (or do they?). It's very painful watching my daughter grow up and away from me. But the reality is I know I have to let her grow, let her go ... gently. Oh, don't think for one minute she gets to not talk or stay to herself all the time. When the opportunity presents itself, I talk or just listen. I watch and pray and I still monitor everything ... yes, myspace too. It is a battle of the wills, but that's okay. I am still in the process of raising her as best as I know how. I'll admit some days I want to throw my hands up and walk away from that stubborn, secretive, boy crazy, loud, silly, combative, awkward, 6'2, teenager of mine ... yes, she's all mine and just like me in many ways. That's too bad.

I have to take her negatives and turn them into positives ... talk about struggle. We (parents) are at war, when it comes to teenagers we have to be strategic in our parenting ... protecting them and at the same time letting them find their own way. What a fine line to walk, most of the time off balance. One constantly has to find footing and hold on for dear life, lest your teenager strays and becomes an adult you don't like.

So I will continue to be there, whether she wants it or not, love her, whether she wants it or not, question her, whether she answers or not, and listen ... especially to what she doesn't say. I'll pray and ask GOD for guidance, knowing that when the battle is over ... she and I will be better for it. "Give Thanks."

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