by Esther Andrews

Created on: August 03, 2008

Can ADHD in friends put your child in danger?

Are all blondes stupid? Are all tall people good at basketball? Where's the "Seriously?" voting button on this debate?

Stating that ADHD in friends puts your child in danger is a prejudiced generalization that assumes that all ADHD kids are the same. ADHD manifests itself in many different ways. Some of the key characteristics of ADD/ADHD are forgetfulness, lack of organizational skills, and distraction. Will your child get hurt when my child pulls out his binder, his papers and pencils fall all over the place, and he can't find his homework assignment because he probably forgot to do it? Well, maybe if your child gets his eye in the way of a falling pencil. How about if my child interrupts the teacher with a joke in the middle of class? Do you see danger for your child from a good laugh every now and then?

It's time to stop trying to bucket people, especially children, into being two-dimensional "disorders" that therefore must make them all exactly the same. Haven't we learned anything from discrimination, sending people to the back of the bus, making them use different restrooms and different water fountains just because they have a different skin color? Now are we going to do the same thing to people just because they have a learning or behavioral disability?

The first thing you need to remember about these children is that they are CHILDREN. They want their peers to like and respect them, yet with the prejudice kids learn at a very young age, "different" kids are ostracized and mocked by the other children simply for the crime of being "different." It's time that parents and teachers first accept and love these children for their unique characteristics so other children will learn by example that "different" doesn't necessarily equal bad.

The poor treatment that disabled kids get even from adults who don't have the training or skills to work with these kids often is exactly what leads to the behavioral issues they exhibit. As a parent, I experienced this first hand. It's shocking to watch how some teachers and even school administrators just assume because a child "looks normal" he should "act normal" and therefore his differences are "bad" and he must somehow be "fixed."

Do some kids with ADHD make bad choices and engage in bad behaviors? And do some seem to learn nothing from discipline? Absolutely! But do all kids with ADHD? Absolutely not! And the same can be said for "normal" kids. They too can make horrible choices and engage in dangerous activities.

It's the responsibility of parents and teachers to help guide their ADHD child to be the best person they can be. While parents and teachers can't necessarily control the outcome, there are myriad ways to help these kids to make better choices, learn skills to focus, drive more safely, etc. The more kids are educated and given skills to overcome some of their difficulties, the more likely they are to live safe, happy, productive lives.

I've watched parents choose to medicate these kids to try to make them more "normal." I say, rather than try to force "normalcy" on these kids, try to place them in an environment where they are loved and praised for their unique, special qualities and watch them thrive. Those of you who choose prejudice against disabled kids are more danger to your children than these kids will ever be.

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