by Aly Kempland

Created on: August 02, 2008   Last Updated: May 24, 2010

Whether or not you believe in a good life, there is a way to get one. No more moping around, feeling sorry for yourself, and dreaming in hopes of something better to come along. You well no longer have to have the bad outweigh the good. Okay, I really haven't figured it out for everyone, but myself, yeah, I think I got it.

It's hard to fall in love when you've got so much past heartache and fear of being hurt. So then, how do you? I realized when I found the guy that was every bit my twin, and that he himself, didn't seem interested in me, something was wrong. Something was holding me back, from dating, from being in love. But what was it? Was I incapable of being loved, or loving someone? Is it possible if you can get to a point where you can't even see Love when it knocks you on the floor, because of all the pain? Or is it the mere fact that maybe, just maybe, the one that you loved and that loved you, has been by your side all along? That's it! The last one, it's crazy, and to realize it so late it seems, or at the perfect moment. I can't put my finger on this one, it's too complicated. Is it weird that my ex-boyfriend's best friend used to live with me for 8 months? No strings attached, never even laid a finger on each other, weird, everyone questioned us. But...is it also weird that that best friend, has been my "everyday, inside joke, holding hands, movie going, talk on the phone for hours" best friend, since he moved in? And is it weird, that since we've moved out of the apartment, that everything seems so strange, that we miss each other, and long for our home back, where we saw each other day in and day out?

There's a underlying message here, and I might have figured it out just last night. I always just looked at him as, my ex-boyfriend's best friend, didn't mean much at all, and never would of considered falling for him. Something changed that though, maybe about a week ago, I began to long for his hands, and his voice, and his smile. I thought maybe I was going crazy, that something was wrong with me...me fall in love with him, I never imagined! What was the most amazing part about this, was when he kissed me, it was to die for. To think that someone with his personality and stature could have such a sweet and perfect kiss. I was impressed and shocked all at once. As he held me and whispered in my ear, I realized that all along I had been missing out on such an impeccable guy and that thought of him being that never crossed my mind. Now, I can't get him off my mind. I don't know what is going on, I've never been in this sort of situation, my ex-boyfriend's best friend? How could this have happened?

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