by Kerry Johnson

Created on: August 02, 2008

After 11 years of trying to become pregnant I found myself sitting in the office of a sweet elderly man with attorney on his nameplate, explaining to me that he was sorry but adoption just wasn't going to be an option for us because we really had no money for adoption costs and our only hope was if a birthmom walked in off the street who had health insurance and didn't need living expenses. He said it would take a miracle. He told me to go home, put together a family life book, mail it back and he would see what he could do but there were no guarantees. I left that attorney's office completely defeated. This was our last hope. We had put 11 years into countless medical procedures and thousands of dollars into trying to have a baby. Now my dream of finally becoming a mommy just went down the drain because we didn't have money. How could this be?

I went home and my husband and I prayed and prayed that God would see the way to giving us a baby. We just knew God hadn't brought us this far to never see the way for us to be parents. We spent the whole afternoon and night getting our family life book together. (It's basically a scrapbook of our lives but it was before scrapbooking was popular.) We cut pictures; we pasted all kinds of things on the papers and wrote whatever we thought a birthmom would want to know. The next day I drove it to the attorney's office and handed it to the receptionist. The attorney saw me at the desk and poked his head in and kind of chuckled and commented on how determined we were but to please keep in mind that we were waiting on a miracle.

Two days later our miracle was born! We received a call that there was a baby born weighting 8lbs 10oz and 21 in. long and were we interested. The attorney said the birthmom went into labor and asked to see the attorney. At the hospital she was given several family life books to look through and the attorney said after about one hour she kept our book and sent everyone out of her room. They said she prayed and looked at our book over and over and she knew we were going to be the right ones to raise her baby.

We went to the hospital and picked up our sweet little bundle of joy. When we got him home all I could do was cry and cry. I cried for being so thankful to God for giving me such a wonderful gift. I cried for the tears his birthmom must be crying, I cried from the fear of having this gift taken away from us. He will be 14 tomorrow and I still thank God everyday for his birthmom and the gift that she so unselfishly gave him and us. She has no idea what a blessing she and he are to our family and how much we love both of them. I hope to one day share with her that all the unselfishness she was able to demonstrate was a gift bigger than anything I could ever put into works.

So now I ask, is it giving or selfish?

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