by Kelley Betts

Created on: August 02, 2008   Last Updated: August 04, 2008

Army wives. We're not what you think.

I always get a chuckle when the show Army Wives comes on T.V. If the American public relies on the Lifetime network to give them an accurate portrayal of Army wives, they may as well believe the show Scrubs is an adequate representation of the medical world. Sure, the program's written for entertainment purposes and millions of people enjoy it. The show, however, runs the risk of labeling and pigeon-holing women who are as varied and unique as grains of sand. Bottom line: there is no Army wife archetype.

Army wives can be doctors; receptionists; salespeople; child care providers; scientists; teachers; secretaries; and stay-at-home moms. They hold every kind of job imaginable. They are mothers and fathers both. Most are patriotic, though some are not. They are always strapped for cash, or have plenty of money to go around. Some Army wives are military members themselves. Army wives have graduate degrees, GEDs or something in the middle. Most speak English, some don't. Some are strong of faith and go to church every Sunday. Many forgo religion altogether and sleep in. Army wives are strong of character, always trying to do what's right by staying faithful to their husbands during long deployments. Some Army wives commit adultery. Army wives have a strong love for family and friends. Many are estranged from the people in their lives. Army wives are unique individuals just like the rest of the country. Believing that a cable show will somehow give you insight into military family life will only leave you with a very small piece of the picture.

Having grown up a military brat, I often tell my husband how fortunate he is to have a spouse with prior "military family experience". He usually rolls his eyes and continues whatever it is he's doing. But there's some truth to my comment. I grew up in a family that moved all the time. A family where daddy not being home for Christmas, or always being the new kid on the block, was normal. Once "married to the military", there was no culture shock for me when faced with an extended deployment or a move every two years. I did, however, find a new-found respect for my mother who raised four children (all born in different countries) while her husband was out to sea for months at at time.

Sadly, many Army wives who marry young can be unprepared for long periods of separation and can feel they've gotten more than they have bargained for. They may soon come to resent both their spouses and

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>