Hiding away behind books, classes, anything that I can find
Contemplating in the depth of my mind
What it would be like to let it all go
Let go of the facade that everyone had grown to know
Because most of it was not really me
I pretended and become what people expected me to be
I once liked the thought of being invisible, being the girl that people easily forgot
Didn't matter if I felt I had something worthwhile to offer or not
I did not want others to see the real me and then judge to no end
So I kept all that I really was locked deep within
I tried to be perfect at everything
Even knowing that making mistakes was part of the greatness of being a human being
I smiled and tried to be as nice as one could be
But every now and then my mean streak would sneak up on me
Now I have to deal with the price of being what I created
Cause everything that I was before now has faded
When I look in the mirror I don't recognize who stares back into my eyes
Cause I've been pretending so much, living a life of lies
As I sit back and think, I realize I never knew who I was, only who I wanted to be
But I know I can never go forward unless I solve the mystery of me
So at twenty years old I am beginning a journey of self discovery
Finding out everything there is to know about this person I call me
Sometimes what I find out I do not like at all
Sometimes I feel that I'm on a ledge just moments away from the fall
But other times I love what I learn about myself
And wonder how in the world I could have pretended to be anything else
So this journey has been a bumpy ride, and I'm sure it will be that way for a while
But that's alright with me as I make my way to woman from a sad, lost child
The things that I do not like about myself, I try to rearrange
The things that I can do nothing about I learn to love and forget about change
Those handful of things I love of myself I try to celebrate
Because this world is filled with enough hate
Invisible, I will be that no more
I refuse to be the girl content with being ignored