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Whenever I meet someone new I usually tell them that I am gay. It is not the first thing that comes up, but you would be surprised how soon people start talking about their relationships or even more general about dating or people that are attractive. As soon as the conversation goes in that direction, I always clearly and matter of factly let people know that I am a lesbian. I have learned that if you do not make a big deal out of it most other people will do the same.

This does not always mean that people are totally ok with it, they are just less likely to let you know. This is especially the case if you are surrounded by other people who do not seem to have a problem with your sexual orientation. However, not speaking up about how you really feel is not the same as accepting someone. Even though I sometimes prefer it when people keep their opinions to themselves, I would not like to work with or befriend someone of whom I did not know they really did not approve of me.

If it is a work situation we can just agree to disagree, as long as the person who has a problem with my sexual orientation can still treat me with respect. I do not feel the same way about social situations. If someone cannot accept that I am gay or has serious issues with homosexuality I do not wish to hang out with them, let alone befriend them. And why should I? To me friendship is all about being accepted for who you are, which includes my sexual orientation.

Receiving acceptance is not just a matter of being tolerated or having the right to exist, but it means knowing that the people around me value me and care for me for who I am. I have been very fortunate that in the years that I have been out as a lesbian, I have never experienced any kind of serious negative impact for being gay. Of course I have come across people who did not approve of homosexuality, and on occasion I have experienced some ignorance, but it has never really affected how I live my life.

All of my family and friends have always been really accepting and supportive of me. The same goes for almost everyone else in my day-to-day world, like co-workers and acquaintances. The fact that I am a lesbian has never mattered to most people I have met, and I think this is just the way as it should be. I know that it might be easy for me to say this as a lesbian, but I feel that being gay should not be made to be such a big deal. What should it matter to anyone else who I love and how I live my life?

Learn more about this author, Bridget N. Watts.
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