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I have a very close family member who writes comedy sketches for big bucks on a major TV show, and also moonlights as a stand-up comedian in Las Vegas clubs and elsewhere. To ge the real info, I went right to the source.

I asked, "How do you write your comedy sketches?" The answer was, "It depends on your audience." The explanation is that there are many different tips for writing such material. For instance, for a daily late night TV comedy program, a sketch usually opens the program, and takes a precise time, usually five minutes. TV schedules are tightly timed, and so are the comedy segments.

For that specific occasion, the material is primarily humorous single sentences (one-liners) based on the day's breaking news. Politics, earthquakes, Hollywood gossip, odd happenings and other pertinent subject matter. For instance, during the heat of a national election year, most of the opening two or three minutes are devoted to that subject, particularly singling out the most prominent candidates for humor.

These segments are written by highly-skilled comedy writers, usually in a conference room early in the day before the program is videotaped. If the five-minute sketch requires a dozen jokes, the crew of writers will submit a total of four or five dozen. The chief writer and comedian then go through the material and decide which ones will be used.

For a comedy club, the live stand-up comic may use one liners and two- or three-sentence jokes with sharp or shocking punch lines. Unlike the TV comedians, he/she may extend the humor to a situation of a minute or two, such as the old cliches, "two guys walked into a bar ...", or "my mother-in-law is so fat...".

Stand-up comedians often use real or exaggerated family situations (Rosanne Barr), personal experiences (Jeff Foxworthy) or pretend to be clueless (Jerry Seinfeld). The late George Carlin, in his own profane way, pointed out the idiocy of everyday life. When Robin Williams did stand-up in his early days, he played the clown, with wild runs of words, accompanied by physical gestures and mugging.

How does one get into writing comedy sketches? Like any vocation, it should start early. If you're a high school student, look for opportunities to write for parties, events, concerts, school programs and other similar situations. To gather material, choose subjects familiar to you. Current school news, sports, classes, grades, teachers, clothing, relationships or other familiar areas that would appeal to a teen audience.

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