by Jenny Tolley

Created on: August 02, 2008

I come from a long line of alcoholics. My father is one, as was his father. I have seen up close the damage alcoholism can do to families, especially children. Based on my experience, I don't believe a true alcoholic can drink socially, nor should they try.

My father saw a therapist for awhile who believed that alcoholics could be trained to be social drinkers. My dad very enthusiastically told my mother about it. She was skeptical, but felt she was powerless to stop my dad from trying this new therapy. My dad tried to learn how to drink socially and his alcoholism got much worse. Every bit of progress he had made towared conquering his addiction went down the toilet. It wasn't long after he started this "therapy" that I found him passed out on his work table, with the television and radio turned up full blast, all the lights on, and the doors to his workshop open wide. My mother found bottles hidden in his bedroom and in his woodshed. The therapy clearly did not work.

This spring, my dad had back surgery. Doctors told him he shouldn't drink before the operation. But, being a sneaky alcoholic, my father did continue to drink. The end result is that he almost died due to complications related to the anesthesia and his alcoholism. He spent two months in a semi-conscious state in two different hospitals, where he was drugged, restrained, and given a tracheotomy to help his breathing. After that, he spent a month in a nursing home. He used to have a nice singing voice, but the tracheotomy has ruined it. Now, he can barely speak loudly enough for my mother to hear him. He is living at home now, but he will never be the same man he was.

I have seen firsthand the devastation caused by alcoholism and have been the victim of abuse at my father's hands. I have witnessed the way alcoholism has affected the rest of the family, as every one of my sisters and I have had to overcome problems related to my father's addiction. I have watched my mother cry in frustration as she has tried to help my dad overcome alcoholism. They have been married for fifty years, but sometimes I think it must seem like so much longer for my mom.

I believe that if an alcoholic is able to stop drinking completely, he or she should be grateful and not tempt fate with the prospect of an occasional beer or glass of wine. Drinking alcoholic beverages can be fun and relaxing for those who can handle them, but drinking is certainly not the end all be all to life. What's more, drinking alcohol is not necessary to sustain life.

So, no, I don't believe that true alcoholics can ever drink socially, nor should they try. I think the alcoholics who claim they can drink socially are either tempting fate or were never really alcoholics to begin with.

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