by Victoria Moss

Created on: August 02, 2008

The parent is the child's first and best teacher.

From the moment of birth, perhaps even before, the child becomes aware of a central source of food, comfort and warmth. At this stage it will not concern the infant who it is who bestows the nurturing as long as it is given lovingly and consistently. During this time patterns of behaviour and response develop. The infant cries and is fed or comforted; it is uncomfortable and is lifted and its back gently rubbed. Gradually it begins to sense that its needs will be met when it behaves in a certain way.

The strength of the connection between parent and child grows as its awareness increases. After a month or two it is able to recognise a friendly smile, distinguish between a parent and another person and respond to various noises and other stimuli such as colours and music.

The parent is already the child's teacher. The child is learning to trust, knowing that when it cries someone will come. It is learning to respond to certain noises and speech sounds, and will look up and smile when its name is spoken or someone says "Hello." It is learning to be amused or frightened by a dog's bark (depending on the parent's reaction.) It is learning to say simple words such as "dad" and "cat" by mimicking the words it hears its parents speak.

The child learns much alongside its parent. In the kitchen when a parent is preparing a meal the child will make noises by banging spoons and find saucepans and lids that can be fitted together. There are holes to dig with a trowel alongside a gardening parent and a fence to be "painted" with a brush dipped into a bowl of water. The child may be pushed in its stroller to the corner shop where it is admired by a friendly neighbour and introduced to the shopkeeper. In every situation, the child is learning, but always within the all-encompassing support of the parent's love.

The warmth and security of parental encouragement in each new situation develops the child's confidence and trust in others. The variety of opportunities and situations that the child is sharing with the parent builds up resilience and lack of fear for what is different or new.

I believe that during these early years, the pattern for childhood, and perhaps even for the adult years is set. If the child is nurtured and sheltered whilst also being encouraged and challenged, if it is allowed to make simple mistakes and suffer minor bumps and given the encouragement to "get right up, brush itself off and start all over again"

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