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Recovering from substance abuse is no easy feat. It is a tumultuous battle, filled with ups and downs, happiness and sadness. In order to do it, you have to take a long, hard look at yourself in the mirror and be okay with what you see. Many people do many unspeakable things while under the influence of drugs and alcohol. So when they try to get clean, they are so overwhelmed by the guilt and shame, that they end up relapsing to help to cover that pain, even if only for a few hours. But recovery comes when a person is ready to face themselves and their past head-on. I am a recovering addict and have been for the past 2 1/2 years. That may not seem like much to the average person, but to me, it seems like an eternity.

When I was 15 and a freshman in high school, I began to drink occasionally. It started out as a weekend thing. It was fun at first. By the end of my sophomore year, at the age of 16, I was drinking and smoking weed on a daily basis. And I loved every minute of it. The sole purpose of drinking, for me, was to get wasted. And I did it with such determination and passion. As I approached the end of my junior year, I was totally and utterly addicted to drugs and alcohol. I was doing a mixture of Cocaine, Ecstasy, Percocet, Valium, Klonopin, Vicodin, Xanax, or Opium every day. I looked forward to that moment in the day where I could just relax, forget my worries and endulge. I was still doing really well in school, so I convinced myself that I did not have a problem and that I was in control. My depression and denial were as constant as my drug use. And then it happened. I met my One True Love. I met OxyContin.

I tried OxyContin (OC's) for the first time and I was hooked. They made me forget all of my problems, they made me feel cool and they made me happy. Senior year of high school came and went, and I was your average, everyday breed of junkie. When it came time to move off to college, at the age of 18, I was doing any form of pill that I could get my hands on. And I was doing them everyday. After I watched my grandmother taken off of a ventilator and watched her take her last breath, I jumped even deeper into the world of drugs. I was no longer popping the pills, I was snorting them. I was no longer wanting to do them, I was needing to do them. But I was still in denial of my problem.

You have to 100% want to be clean in order to actually stay clean. It took me a long time to realize this. You can't do it for anyone else but yourself. You have to put

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