by Stefani Andrews

Created on: August 01, 2008

There can be no doubt in my mind that there is attraction at a mere glance. You can spend two minutes looking at someone and decide that you want to give things a shot with them. You can instantly fall into that almost obsessive pattern of wanting and needing to be around them, talk to them, and be committed to them. Almost everyone has had that experience, but that is lust not love.

Love takes commitment to develop. There has to be complete trust and admiration for the other person. You have to know without a doubt that they are going to be there for you no matter what. Love is what happens when your boyfriend of two years listens to you cry for hours after your dog dies, and does not complain a bit even though he always hated that little mongrel. Love is what develops when your man gets on his knees and asks you to be his forever. That commitment cannot and does not develop in one meeting.

Physical attraction is often mistaken for love at first sight, and I believe this is due to that person never having experienced love before. If you don't know what love is, you can hardly expect to recognize it. After spending time in long term and committed relationships, that same person would probably view that first attraction a lot differently. The physical and chemical reaction of being attracted to someone can be overwhelming and easily mistaken for love. This can lead to many one night stands and "falling in love" every other month.

We have all met that person who is so stunning when you first lay eyes on them that you cannot look away. You want nothing more than to get to know them, and everything about them. The desire to be close to them can be almost irresistible. But in twenty years, that stunning person will have gotten older, maybe lost their hair or gained a few extra pounds. If you base your "love" on that first impression, you are likely to be disappointed when the feeling fades after a few months, weeks, or days.

Going through experiences together and building a history is what inspires love. Love is a choice that you make when you trust and want to be with that special someone; it is not some mysterious thing that happens to you. You decide who you will allow yourself to love and who you won't. You can choose to love someone who is dedicated to you, trustworthy, respectful, and worthy of your admiration. That choice is based on time. Love takes times to build, but it is definitely worth the wait.

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