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Barricaded in my room
Door locked, mouth shut
For another painful day
I just want to get away.
They're so damn selfish
They can never agree
Why is it that they can't see
That what they do hurts me
So much that I'll be happy
When I'm gone, far away from here
Away from the countless tears
The fighting and my deepest fears
Away from the run-down house
With it's crumbling walls

And it's papered over cracks
And the dirty windows
That keeps inside what no-one knows.
In my drawers I've kept them all
Every note, so badly scrawled
In shaken handwriting
Underscored by droplets of blood.
In my memories I've kept inside
Every harsh word and every lie
And every sickening push and blow
And every inner scar I refuse to show.
In my eyes I've seen things
That a little girl should never know.
I've seen the corruptness of man
I've seen insecurity and fright
Coupled with rage and sleepless nights.
I've seen my innocence cast away
With reckless abandon, tossed into
An infinite sea of forgotten times
When I was the world and the world was mine,
When the days were much less complicated
When we all got along and no-one was hated.
And he thinks now he can make it all better
As if I'm still his little girl who can be bribed
With a sunny afternoon and a walk in the park
And a second ice cream just before it gets dark.
Now he wants his little girl back, when it suits him
But the little girl he used to know has long gone
And he only has himself to blame.
I look across the road at number thirty two
Their windows are clean - I see what they do
They play happy families, they eat dinner together,
The kids do their homework and the parents never
Argue. I bet they're just faking, faking like us
When we have visitors that we need to impress
Or when he bothers to force a sharp pill down his throat
And into his belly full of bitterness and bile.
It bruises his ego but he doesn't bruise me
So Daddy if you read this, daddy please
Take your medication, and stay on it this time
Or else you can no longer call me "O daughter mine"

Learn more about this author, Matt Morgan-Rawes.
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