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Abusing alcohol doesn't lead to marital problems. It's the people abusing the alcohol that cause the marital problems. Every married couple has a choice as to whether they decide to drink, or not. It's their proverbial bed, so they must lie in it. When two people become part of a union, by entering into marriage, it is their choice to drink or not to drink. A bottle of beer doesn't walk up to a person, plunk itself down in front of that person and say "Drink me."

It all comes down to personal repsonsiblity. When two people are married and one partner, or both partners want to spend their days or nights or all of the above drinking, then they are not meeting their obligations of life. They made the decision to sit down, open up a bottle of beer and drink it. They could easily have done anything else but have way too many drinks, but that is the choice they made.

Obviously drinking too much can lead to major marital problems due to a person making the choice to drink. Here are just a few of the many ways the alcohol abuser, chooses to ruin his or her life:

When a person puts alcohol first in his or her life, this leads to spending money for alcohol rather than the necessities of life. While living with an alcoholic means the other person may have to do without so that the problem drinker can have that precious drink. Not having enough money to pay the bills can put major strain on the marriage, and the marriage can end in divorce. With one person spending entire paychecks at a bar of choice, then that leads to arguments and maritial strain.

More maritial problems can occur with one person or perhaps the married couple putting alcohol first. The children can suffer by being left alone while one parent or paretns goes out to drink. Children can suffer and end up growing up with many scars to their psyche by having paretns that drink a lot and then slug it out every evening. With the children suffering, often times the paretns will end up breaking up, thus ending the marriage so that the vicous cycle continues and the children grow up being aclcohol abusers as well. With the children suffereing and the paretns suffering it makes for a miserable life for everyone involved.

When a partner in a marriage chooses to drink he or she is actually saying, "I am putting alcohol first." They are not putting the marriage first. They are therefore not working as part of a team. They really are being very selfish and putting themselves first, not the marriage or their partner. The alcoholic needs to go to rehab to get over the dependency problem and live a normal, productive life, living as part of a team. When a person doesn't contribute to the marriage, then it is not a marriage.

Due to the fact that a person has chosen to drink and get drunk, he or she can become violent due to the alcohol lowering his I.Q. Only kidding, but it does seem that way, now doesn't it? Alcohol lowers a person's inhibitions due to its effects on the brain. With inhibitions being loosened and brain waves slowing down the entire body, a person kind of looses self control while drinking a lot of alcohol. Therefore,this person can become an angry drunk, with the possiblity of harming the spouse.

It all comes down to personal choice, with people letting that bottle of alcohol become their marriage partner rather than the person they married. When a person gets help through rehab, talking to a family friend, or getting counseling, the marriage could be saved. Then the couple can have a great marriage and put their relationship first, not the bottle.

Learn more about this author, Kate Johns.
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