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Taxes
How to avoid being audited by the IRS
Article Toolsby James Ruhnke
1. Change your last name to "BUSH".
2. Contribute heavily to charities. The best two are the Republican and Democratic parties.
3. Report only the income that is on your W-2. Anything else which shows you are smarter than a worm will raise a "red flag".
4. Send in your return at the last possible moment. Because of high volume and the late date, the IRS folks are tired of arithmetic and just want to go home.
5. Have your daughter marry an IRS agent.
6. Smear mustard on your return and enter your occupation as "Burger King Manager". Even to the IRS it will be obvious that you have no income.
7. Fill out your return with a crayon.
8. When mailing your return put some talcum powder in the envelope and list your return address as somewhere in Waco, Tx.
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