by Diana Claude

Created on: July 31, 2008

I am a Transit Bus Operator in a large Metropolitan New England City. I am desperately trying to fit into a community that is mainly African American and European immigrants. There are shootings and gang wars on a weekly basis. Most recently, a young black teen was killed when he ran a stop sign while riding a stolen dirt bike and crashed into a van. The people in the neighborhood dragged the driver of the van out and beat him senseless, sending him to the hospital. Now the father of the teen is claiming that the police beat the driver because he took a swing at them. This latest incident has caused nothing but grief for the people who seem to know only violence to solve their problems. I myself, have been subjected to racist and sexist name calling for no reason, except that I am white.

When these things happen, there is a lot of blame placing; and as I speak my local news station is talking about street outreach programs to get young people off of the streets.
these programs are wonderful but why is it I never see programs that involve whites and blacks together?

However, I have also experienced a great deal of kindnes, love, and respect from those that are multi-racial or have strong religious values. In trying to understand the Soul of a people who have been beaten down for so long, one can see why the use of fists may be a choice to resolve conflicts. There is also a great deal of passion there for family. If we could only get past the hatred and anger, and move on to mutual reasoning and respect; perhaps we would no longer be a nation divided.

There is a white middle-aged homeless woman who lives on the Downtown Green of our city. She is very clean and apparently healthy. She never pan-handles or creates any disturbances. However, she carries all of her belongings in four or five large plastic tote bags. These bags must weigh about 30 pounds each. I know because I tried to lift one once. It takes her about 10 minutes just to walk up the street, carrying each bag a few feet placing it down and going back for the others one by one.

In the middle of the winter she carries these bags in the snow, then at night the bags become her bed as she sleeps in a Bus Shelter. The only charity she will accept is a few dollars to buy a 30-day Bus Pass so she can ride the busses back and forth. Noone ever bothers her and she seems to be content with her lifestyle. I have seen her from time to time sitting on her bags and writing in what appears to be a diary.

I once mentioned her to an African American passanger on my bus. He told me that she was carrying around the baggage that she had aquired through her life experiences. That the bags were symbolic of her bitterness with life, The point here is; does it really matter who is responsible for her plight?

Is it wrong for her to carry these bags around? Do they contain things that she really needs or just things that she's become attached to? Should someone help her carry the bags, or leave her to bear the weight of her former life alone?

Is this her personal choice, or is it about coping with the situation she's in and surviving? And is mere survival all that some of us are entitled to in this lifetime?

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