by It's Me

Created on: July 30, 2008

Let me start out by saying that being a mother I would like to say no for purely selfish reasons. When this comes up I have to take a step back and look at the big picture.

Being a mother I think it comes natural to think that only we can take care of our kids the proper way, there is no way anybody can do it better. Little do we know that's only our opinion. This is coming from me, a mom who never leaves her kids with anybody but my husband. I know that if the shoe were on the other foot then I don't think it would be right for him to get custody and me only get to visit my kids on the weekend or just every other weekend. What most of us fail to remember is it took to make these precious kids and it does take two to raise them. I have yet to see a kid who doesn't need both parents to learn from, both have something to give.

Let me start by talking about the mother. The mother has a job when raising her kids to be the one who nurtures, loves, and teaches things a dad can't. Wether you like to admit it or not there are things a woman knows that a man doesn't. Then you have the whole issue of a kid learning by watching, if there is no mom there then how are the kids going to get to see how she does things from day to day. Kids pick up on the things we do so if there is something you don't want your kid to do you had better not let them see you do it. I will list a few things that a mom usually teaches a girl that a dad can't. To start she teaches her to use makeip, how to take care of her skin, how to sew, how to clean, how to be a lady, and there is so much more that a mom is there to teach her daughter but mostly when she watches her mom from day to day doing all things a mom does she learns how she is supposed to do things when she is older. Then there is the boy.... The mom does alot of teaching there as well. She teaches him the role of the mom, the sensitive part of a relationship, how the future will be with his wife, and there is more to that list as well. I just wanted to make a quick point that the mom is very important in how her children are raised.

Then you have your dad and the things that he teaches your children that you can't or don't. I won't use the word can't because we can do anything. There are things a dad does that will play an important part of who your child turns out to be. When it comes to girls most likely they will use their dad as the image of the type of person they need their husband to be but what if they have no example to go by? The dad teaches the daughter about protection from a different point of view than a mom does, he teaches her to feel safe and that a dad is there to protect. Then you have your son. Would you want him to grow not knowing the things men need to know like how to fix a car, how toprotect his family, how to take care of his wife, and more. The dad is just as watched as the mom and he plays just as important a role as she does.

It takes both sides for a child to have a rounded view of what is expected of them as adults and how to go about being the best they can be. They will of course watch both parents and pick and choose what they will try their best to do or not to do when they are adults. When you take one or the other from the daily life of your kids then you take away a part of who they are meant to become. If a parent can't be there all the time then they should at least be there half the time. That way they both are there to teach the kids what they need to learn. I think if people take a step back and look they will see what the kids need instead of being selfish and trying to take away what a kid needs most.

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