by Barbara Akowuah

Created on: July 30, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

If someone were to ask me, are you a virgin? I would gladly nod my head yes all the while giving a slight grin. The grin of course proves that I know that this is something rare nowadays being in my early 20's and being a virgin.

In other words the grin translates to "I know I'm special, a diamond in the rough and I intend to keep it that way for as long as I can".

There is no shame when it comes to being a virgin, at least for me because as a young woman I know the pressures out there of giving into sex and "putting out" because it is the norm.

Virgins are as rare and uncommon as unearthed pink diamonds. They come a dime a dozen and even those who are considered virgins come with exceptions. "Technically I'm a virgin because I've never had actual sexual intercourse." , a common explanations of what I like to call so called virgins.

Ideally and definitively a virgin is someone who has never had any sexual contact, be it direct sexual penetration, intercourse or oral sex.

Society seems to have a double standard when it comes to virgins and sexuality. The idea is that if you are a female and a virgin than that is valued and somewhat encouraged. However, if you are a male and a virgin than shame on you, "what are you like trapped in a cave even cave men have sex."!

Because sexuality is attached to males and females differently what can bring shame to one gender can bring glory to another.

For males part of what it means to be a man is having an active sex drive, that is why sex is so heavily promoted in the media and that's why millions of dollars are spent each year on sexual enhancements such as Viagra and Levitra not to mention the booming porn industry.

To the contrary for females it is a double edge sword because on the one end we are encouraged to be sexy and sexy has definitely become the new beautiful, but on the other end virgins are the most desirable kind because they are the ones who are part of the lure of the "forbidden fruit", and what man wouldn't prefer a brand new car , untouched, over a used one?

Not to compare women to cars but I am speaking in a language that guys would most likely understand, in any event. I personally am honored to be called a virgin and wouldn't mind being ridiculed and/or teased about it.

I like the idea that I can maintain self-control during moments of temptation (trust me I've been tempted before) but I mostly like the fact that I am apart of a fading breed .

To all of my virgin women (and men) enjoy it while it last and save it for someone who deserves it and is worthy of it. It is a gift that not only shows your willingness to respect your body it also shows you dedication to committing yourself physically under your own terms.

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