by Angela S. Young

Created on: July 30, 2008   Last Updated: July 15, 2011

When we think of extrovert and introvert, we think of opposites. One is an out-going talker who knows no strangers. The other is a shy, quiet mouse who doesn't like being around too many people. The problem with these and other definitions people use when writing articles about introversion or extroversion is that these characteristics are as unique as the people who claim them, and they are also on more of a continuum.

Some people fall on the extreme ends, but most of us are somewhere in between. We have times when we can appear extroverted and times we appear introverted. I consider myself an introvert. In some situations, however, depending on the company and the topic of conversation or the activity, I can talk with the best of them.

Another problem with the concept of saying the world belongs to extroverts is that the world would come to a grinding halt without introverts.These are often the ones who do the detail work that doesn't involve social networking. Both introverts and extroverts are needed in this world. We couldn't get along without both of them; they both have their merits and their place in the scheme of things.

As an introvert, I may have fewer friends than my extrovert husband, but my friendships are much deeper. I gather my friends carefully; he gathers his everywhere he goes. There is nothing wrong with either method; it is the method that works for each of us and our own unique personalities.

I have made friends with the art of reading while my husband would rather be talking to other people. I learn more about some things, but he learns more about other things. He knows many things about other people's lives. He remembers to ask about that dad with cancer or the new baby. I remember the things I learned through my reading. Both of us learn, we just learn differently, and we learn the things that are most important to us.

Introverts are not anti-social as a group; I love being around people. I just prefer a smaller group. When my husband and I go out socially, I take my knitting or some other activity. He chats everyone up and I knit while listening happily to the conversation going on around me, contributing occasionally to the chatter. We are opposites, but we compliment one another. Together we make one successful team.

I am not generally shy; I don't hate social gatherings; I enjoy conversation; the difference is that I will not carry the conversation. I will be that person everyone thinks is a great listener. I will never know everyone

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