by A. L. Sugden

Created on: July 29, 2008   Last Updated: December 07, 2011

Top Ten Ways to Be a Terrible Diner

10. Forget Your Table Manners
Everyone who is older than 5 ought to know to chew with his mouth closed, use the napkin to wipe his mouth, and take a trip to the restroom to emit body functions. It was cute when you were a baby, but poor table manners will give you some enemies as an adult.

9. Hang Around
Ever heard the phrase, "flip the table"? It means get the talkers out of the restaurant and put new customers at the table. The restaurant business, believe it or not, is in it for the profit. Every minute counts to the restaurant owner and the server in charge of your table. If you want to monopolize a table you should give the server a grandiose tip to make up for it.

8. Rearrange Furniture
When at a restaurant where a hostess seats you, this is absolutely critical. Many times the hostess has a plan for every table in the house. Even if the tables are not arranged already, you may end up causing a birthday party to wait longer because you stole their table. You could also be breaking a fire code, and earn an embarrassing word from the manager.

7. Be Impatient
When the hostess tells you it will be 15 minutes, and it turns into 30, don't throw a temper tantrum. She has to estimate how long she thinks the people at the tables will sit and talk. See number 9 and remember how frustrated and hungry you get when you have to wait the next time you want to sit around and talk after dinner.

6. Send Your Food Back
This is another reason you may become impatient: people too often send their food back for trivial reasons and slow down the service. If you can pick the pickles off yourself, please, do it. I hate to divulge this secret, but if you send it back and the chef or server is already having a bad day, well, you might not want to eat it when it comes back to you. If it's a rare steak that should have been well-done, make sure you ask politely for a manager, so he has a chance to fix it. Sometimes the manager can offer a concession.

5. Use your cell phone
If you must keep your cell phone on, please turn it to vibrate. If you must take a call, excuse yourself and step outside. Cell phone users usually speak louder than they think they do. No one wants to listen to your personal conversations. Ever. And your server will be annoyed if he has to wait for you to finish your conversation for him to offer you more sweet tea.

4. Be Rude
Try to remember that the people who are waiting on you are not your slaves. They are real people with real

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