by Gurmeet Mattu

Created on: July 28, 2008

It would be wrong to claim that I am the world's leading authority on caution and I believe this misconception arises from my name, Arthur Cautious. I have dined out many times on the small joke that I am Cautious by name and cautious by nature, but this betrays a basic misunderstanding of the cautious lifestyle among the general public.

In this article I will attempt to clarify many of these misconceptions and invite those of a rash persuasion to adopt a more cautious approach to life. It is not my intention to offend, however, and if your rashness comes from deeply held beliefs I can only wish you well and ask you to be careful out there.

The first example I intend to give you of the cautious life concerns my wife, Ophelia. Now, Ophelia only became cautious when she married me and therefore does not have the depth of understanding of living a life of caution which I have. Ophelia has never been a buxom woman and though this has never affected our relationship, she felt at one point that breast augmentation was required to allow her to fulfil herself as a woman. I thought this extremely rash and not at all in keeping with being cautious, but Ophelia was adamant. She wanted bigger boobs and was determined to have them, and it was only after a serious round of discussions that I convinced her to abandon this reckless course. This, naturally, is being negative and not cautious, so Ophelia and I reached a compromise whereby she would have one bosom augmented to allow her to judge the results, before making a final commitment. This achieved some strange looks in the dressing room of the gym she attends, but I believe it was a small price to pay to ensure that she was making the correct decision where her breast size was concerned. This experiment having proved that she was satisfied with one larger booby, she then had the other one done, and a lot of fun they are too.

On the other side of the coin, and to prove that caution can stop one from taking a disastrous course of action, I give you the example of the time I decided to become a naturist. It was several years ago and I was in better shape, but I had the urge to feel the wind against my naked skin by becoming a nudist. Of course, being cautious, I could not rush into this and I attempted to sample this new lifestyle by going to work wearing only one sock. This did not provide the thrill I had anticipated and so I remain a nudist only in my heart.

I want to return here to the basic misconception about caution which I mentioned earlier, and where it originates from. I believe it comes from the phrase erring on the side of caution'. Now, as we know, to err' is to make a mistake and therefore people subconsciously make a connection between caution and wrong. I do wish they would be more cautious with these spurious judgments.

Ophelia and I are going to purchase a motoring car this afternoon. We have finally decided that the horseless carriage is here to stay, and though we may be cautious, we would not dream of standing in the way of progress.

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