by Susan Lower

Created on: July 28, 2008

Too many couples today rush into marriage with star dust in their eyes, love in their hearts, and no thought beyond the ceremony.

Getting married is a decision that must be well thought out and planned, especially in a generation overridden by divorce. There are no guarantees your marriage will succeed. No marriage is story book perfect. There will be problems along the way, challenges to be faced, and situations to be handled. All these things can be overcome by knowing how to lay the right foundation for your marriage before it starts.

When you first decide to get married you should seek premarital counseling. Many churches require it before they will acknowledge the ceremony. If you don't have a church you can find a professional marriage counselor who can help you or search book stores and online for reading material and premarital workbooks.

You and your future spouse need to ask yourselves these two important questions: Why do you want to get married? What do you want to get out of the relationship?

Next, sit down together and discuss your future. It is vital to cover important issues in the beginning of your marriage you will face, like finances, and what type of role the woman will play once children come into the picture. Who will pay the bills? Will she stay home with the baby? These are extreme questions. If it can't be worked out now, it may not be resolved later.

Once you stands up and say your vows life will change from being an individual to transforming into a couple. Not only will you share the same living space, but share the same bed night after night. If you can get your sex life off to a great start and you'll maintain a great relationship. Remember to become more then each other's best friend. Become soul mates.

Have a plan on how you will reduce and resolve conflict. When two people live together they are bound to disagree. The key to all disagreements is learning how to compromise. One person may have to sacrifice more than the other, but in a healthily marriage relationship there are no tallies.

Lastly, before you get married look to your family and friends for a mentor couple. If you can't find just one, it is ok; I recommended you have a few couples that you know you can go to when your marriage has conflict. Look inside your church for young couple groups where couples can support each other. Being a newly wed isn't easy, and having someone to talk to who has gone through similar trials and tribulations can help ease the stresses of handling marriage during the first few years.

Just by reading this article you have already taken a step forward in ensuring your marriage doesn't end up in divorce once the star dust wears off after the honeymoon. Congratulations. May your marriage be a happy one.

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