by Grace Brentley

Created on: July 27, 2008

I would have said no to this question before having a child of my own. After all, conventional wisdom tells us that early to bed and early to rise is the way to go. I am an early riser married to a night-owl, and our son falls somewhere in the middle. After numerous tries to develop an earlier bedtime routine, I am resigned to the fact that my son will rarely, if ever, go to sleep before 9 p.m.

My husband rarely goes to bed before midnight, even if he has to be at work early the next day. I am usually out cold around ten. I am grouchy if I don't get at least eight good hours of sleep while my husband can go on as little as four. We have very different sleep styles, but I don't think any of it stems from what time we went to bed as babies.

All the parenting books suggest the importance of a routine for babies, and we have one in place. My son receives his meals, juice, snacks, story time, naps and baths at roughly the same time every day. He also goes to bed between 9:30 and 10:00 every night. Sometimes I feel like others judge me for letting him stay up so late. A friend of mine puts her kids down at 7, but I know that would never work for us.

We struggled with a bedtime routine for several months. We would try to put my son to bed early, but he would always wake up several times a night, thinking it was time to play. When I tried to rock him back to sleep, he would become upset, so we would usually get up and play for an hour or two. He was not a happy camper when I tried to put him back in the crib. No matter how sound asleep he was, as soon as I would lay him down, he would pop up and begin screaming. The majority of evenings I wound up sleeping in bed with him as he thrashed around the entire night. The result was one sleepy, grouchy baby and a groggy, snippy mommy.

Fast forward a few months, and I am happy to say our family has found a routine that works for us all. By letting my son stay up a little longer at night, he burns off enough energy that he mostly sleeps through the nights. He usually takes two shorts naps a day and then seems to catch a second wind about 8:00 each night. I usually put him to bed between 9:30 and 10:00.

I'm sure there are scientific studies and evidence galore that staying up late is detrimental to babies, but my son is a normal, happy, well-adjusted baby who just happens to stay up a little later than most of his peers. He gets plenty of rest and has a great disposition. Every family has to find what works for them, and going to bed a little later has actually tremendously improved the quality of sleep for mine.

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