Life is lived in fear each day because of this illness.

Fear is living with the unknown.

Not know the fate or the outcome of this.

This illness will eventually kill you

A person will be diagnosed at first by having problems with there memories.

Getting names and ect mixed up or completly sometimes go at a blank when talking or thinking.

Right in the middle of a sentence.

They might start to forget what they were talking about.

I moght even forget who I am talking to.

The fear is not understanding why this is happening.

To have seen friends all around you being diagnosed with this.

Going to the doctor in fear to find out what is wrong.

Then to have your worst fear to be found true.

I have atomizers'.

I will live my life daily with lost of memory.

Sometimes for minutes. Sometimes for hours it will be lost in the day.

Like yesterday I went for a walk.

I forgot where I was going.

Sometimes I hesitate in response to my own name.

I am even beginning to forget that.

The greatest fear is felt in the morning's.

I wake up and see the nurse and realize this is not a nightmare.

This is all part of my real life.

I dread this fear.

What I dread even more is waking up and not having this fear.

I do not know longer why she is there.

In this fearI cherish my memories my clarity od mind and it's moments.

Looking over photos and reading old journals.

I guess in the end I will be at tike a childlike state.

But I will be able to function with less of a mind of a toddler.

I watched my mother die from this.

And I also toke care of her and it was awful and became in life my fear.

When I was a child my grandfather became ill fro it.

He lived in with us .

He and my grandmother.

The end of his death was horrible,

It felt as though my granfather had already died.

It felt as though a stranger had replaced his body.

Painfuly I fear in what I belived to know.

That has happen to them will more then likly happen to me.

It is now my fate.

My fear is the pain I will cause my children.

My fear is that there is not enough time to do everything I want and to say everything to those I love.

Life is precious I realize my sadness of what I fear to face in life has taught me this.

Fear lived everyday. In a mind that is coherent because it is fading away to atimerzers

Learn more about this author, Karen Erickson.
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