by Nome De Plume

Created on: July 27, 2008

On relationships, monogamy and the chemistry and biology involved:

[Fact]:
every seven years every cell in your body has regenerated, you are for all intents and purposes a completely new you biologically, same DNA with alterations, you have gained immunities from everyone you have had close contact with and survived, and experience. congratulations, you are an improved you, some cells don't replicate perfectly, you look older, damn is that a gray hair?, a little sag here and there, bummer.

[Testing Attraction]:
a well known (and frequently forgotten by me) University did a study on the chemistry of attraction, it went something like this: you have 10 male volunteers sleep in a provided t-shirt for a week without deodorant or washing it (possibly not bathing either), to thoroughly get their scent into it. You do DNA work up on them and the female volunteers to follow.

Now to the test: t-shirts marked as to donor, put in identical containers with a port in the top which did not allow contents to be viewed scrambled the order of the boxes then id outside of box. so no one, even the researchers know who is who's, the women put face to each box, and gave their opinions as to the what they smelled. Some women found some attractive, others offensive. cross match DNA of all participants.

[Conclusion]:
women were most attracted to the pheromones of males with DNA most different from their own, and offended by the ones closest to themselves. University types theorized thus: women want to mate with someone who has as different an immune system from them as they can get, so their offspring gets benefit of the best immune system she can provide, stronger than either donor..

[Opinion]:
the mixing up the gene pool, that's the "chemistry" part of attraction. The common goals, shared experiences, loving memories, having each others back, us against the world, the friends, partners, and always lovers, that is the emotional part of the experience.

Now the trick is to have a solid foundation of these experiences, good communication, willingness to make it work and not give it up at the drop of a hat. Being able to weather anything, because every seven years there will be a stress on the relationship, emotional, financial, health, you pick, whatever. It will either strengthen it or threaten to wreck it, but it will pass. Give each other whatever you need to to get through it, if you both should choose. We find ourselves up against a biological time clock, we can choose to work it through, if that is what both parties want.

[Personally]:
I am still proud of my ex, for the things she has overcome in her life. At the same time disappointed that the "us" didn't survive the winds of change. Even armed with the knowledge that the storm was coming.

Or for most of the folks in todays instant gratification microwave popcorn society,

lather rinse repeat.

Someone wise once said: 'Those who refuse to learn from the past are doomed to repeat it.' or words to that effect.

monogamy was invented by society ages ago, not by biology, probably in an era where women were regarded as property instead of partners, and also keeps down on the fuss:
him: "she's mine!"
other: "no she's mine!",
she: "no, I am my own!"
that last one is an historically more recent idea, which I for one heartily endorse, independence. connected to who you choose to be, in whatever fashion suits the both of you.

Males are programmed by biology to be able and desire to mate often, and potentially with numerous partners.

Females are programmed to mate "well", choose one who will stay with her to raise the potential offspring, and protect them both.

Have a nice day.
Be excellent to one another.
Party on dudes!

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