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When and why marriage goes bad

by Susan Lower

When a bride walks down the aisle and all heads turn, there is a mother in the front pew with tears in her eyes, sadness in her heart, and a smile at her lips. It is an experience every mother both dreads and hopes for at the same time.

When two people leave the security of their families and become one, there are bound to learn to live with each other. Although, more often than not in today's society, one of them end up back at their mother's house.

Why is this?

Marriage is a commitment of love, faith, and loyalty. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (Ephesians 5:31) They live under one roof, share the same bed, and make decisions like who's going to take the garbage out. Adjustments are made, conflicts are ignited and defused, and life begins a new for the newly weds.

During the course of marriage, life changes and so do the individuals making up the couple. There are great joys and happiness. The blessings of children, new career paths, and opportunities. There comes periods of illness, grief, strife, and relational stresses. Too many times significant others are left out or left behind in the other's emotional turmoil.

Most often couples grow apart with the increasing demands of raising a family and following a career path. Men, more than women, have a difficult time opening up and sharing their worries and communicating with their wives. Too often assumptions are made without talking and discussions, and neither man nor wife ever realize the wrong of the situation until the couple has reached the rocky side of their marriage.

Daily intimacy needs to become factored back into marriages. Couples need to talk everyday and laugh often. Spouses shouldn't be afraid to speak to the other on how they feel and avoid mocking or intimidating the other for their feelings. Because if they are important enough for your spouse to confide in you, then they are important enough to be addressed in a sensitive, understanding, and caring matter.

Women need to feel loved. They need warm arms and long nuzzles. But they need understanding, compassion, and the freedom to express themselves inside the sanctuary of their home. They need men who listen with open ears and offer support.

Live, love, talk, talk so more, and then kiss and make up. That is what marriage is all about folks. When you don't have anything more to give, give some more. Don't be afraid to cook a special meal, bring home flowers, or an extra good night kiss. It could mean the difference between sleeping in your bed or going to your mother's house.

Helium, Inc.
200 Brickstone Square Andover, MA 01810 USA