by Chauncey Kenton

Created on: July 27, 2008

Yes, it is a sad but true statement - bullies do exist in the workplace. There are even courses you can take to deal with these types. These courses have titles like "How to deal with strong personalities" or "How to handle difficult people in the workplace." I think it is a reflection of our culture. On reality TV shows, it is not the kind and considerate people who get the most airplay - it is the shrieking banshee (think Omarosa), who is ranting and raving about some petty slight and playing it up to the cameras. Even though it's like watching a train wreck in slow motion, you know that you enjoy the conflict, and you can't wait to see how far they will push the other players. This same type of competitive behavior is played out in the workplace everyday, and your co-workers who aren't the target are sitting back and enjoying the show.

The female bully can be both subtle and bold, depending on her mood. She can be sweet as honey to the males, and catty and sarcastic to the females. The male bully is overbearing-both physically and verbally. The male bully likes to dominate conversations, and if he thinks you are a weaker competitor - he will try to talk over you and cut you off in mid-sentence. At meetings, these types try to drown out others' ideas and they try to take credit for any popular ideas that a weaker employee submits.

I have found that the best strategy for dealing with these types is to give them just enough rope to hang themselves. Yes, I am talking stealth sabotage - you have to become an expert at this game. It is either that, or ignore these idiots. But for me, I prefer to serve up a little revenge with my spreadsheets.

The first rule - look for your opponent's flaws and weak spots. Everyone has them - you just have to find those warts and take note. For example, if your opponent is a big, burly type who tends to wear his pants a little tight - get him in front of the group and politely asked him if he is giving those pants the stress test. Look for those weak spots and attack, but do it with a smile. Then find the bully's flaws in his work - for example, does he or she make numerous data entry errors that someone else has to fix? You could asked him to take off those boxing gloves when he types, and point out his errors (politely, of course, with a smile).

Second rule - keep chiseling away at their self-esteem. Did Miss Perfect drop ketchup on her blouse at lunch? Point it out - tell her your grandma will be glad to lend her a bib! These bully types love to point out your flaws, but they bristle up when you point out theirs. Don't be shy and don't back down - but do it all in good fun, with a smile and chuckle.

Third rule - CYA - make sure you cover your butt and do all your work accurately and timely. Don't give the bullies any ammunition to use on you. Don't make any disparaging comments about them to the boss or your co-workers, and be as pleasant as possible when dealing with them - but have your zingers ready to fire when necessary. Remember- a public humiliation of the bully brings quicker results, but you have to be polished and ready.

You have to keep chiseling away at their self-esteem, and after you've leveled the playing field with your wit and swagger, those bullies will go crying back to their corners, and look for some other poor soul to wage war on.

Learn more about this author, Chauncey Kenton.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.