When my Uncle Bob bought me an all expense paid trip to La Romana and told me to brush up on my Spanish, l called him stupid, punched him in the back of the head, and told him they speak Italian there. I then realized the tickets were for La Romana, the third largest city in the Dominican Republic, and not Roma, the largest city in Italy.

Thankfully, he didn't come out of the coma until after the vacation because I enjoyed some amazing memories.

HISTORY

With the opening of a modern airport in 2000 and with its proximity to other resort townsPunta Cana, and Casa de Campo, La Romana has developed into a tourist hotspot. Founded nearly 100 years ago by the South Puerto Rico Sugar Company, La Romana remains a one company town.

ART

Although the inhabitants of La Romana either work for the sugar plant or in the tourism industry, it's home to artisans who produce ceramics, hand crafted jewelry, and rich tapestries. Art museums are a popular attraction for tourists who feel it's completely appropriate to visit an art museum on vacation, yet ridicule those who do back home. Fascinating architecture graces the town as well, highlighted by the Church of Stanislaus, the fountain of four lions, the colonnade of obelisks, and a Play-Doh sculpture my daughter made at a local restaurant.

BASEBALL

Remember when you were in 9th grade and nobody wanted to have you on their baseball team in gym class. Relive those humiliating memories in one of the world's most popular areas for baseball. In addition to Azecareros del Este, a baseball team in the Dominican Winter League, La Romana gives place to numerous fields full of aspiring young athletes. Nearby San Pedro de Marcoris has produced 73 Major League Baseball players.

BEACHES

Although it's fun to pretend you're a sophisticated art, history, or baseball aficionado while vacationing in the Caribbean, we all know why you're really there: sand, sun, waves, babes, and sandy, sunny, wave babes. Relive memories of being pelted by golf balls working at the driving range by riding a golf cart to La Minitas Beach. In addition to being fun to say, Bayhibe (make sure your arm waves as you pronounce it), attracts visitors looking for warm water, hot sand, and hot chicks covered in sand. A short boat ride to Catalina Islands provides seclusion, especially in the midst of a hurricane.

ALTOS DE CHAVON

Remember when you were six and attempted to reconstruct a medieval village with a deck of cards, only to have your dog urinate on it and knock it over? That's kind of what Roberto Copa and Charles Bluhdorn did in the 1980s, except they used actual materials and made it the most popular attraction in La Romana. The village, perched high above the Chavon River stands as a monument to the distant past and embodies traditional art and architecture. It's amphitheater, inaugurated by Frank Sinatra and Carlos Santana in 1982, has hosted some of the world's most famous musicians.

SIGHTSEEING TOURS

Take a trip through the mountains on a Jeep Safari tour, a ride down the Chavon River, a visit to the Marinarium Shark and Ray Experience, a Saona Island Catamaran Cruise, or check out the toilet bowl in your hotel room after a night of heavy drinking. Whichever you choose, take a lot of pictures, so your friends back home will be jealous.

NIGHTLIFE

Enjoy folk singing, ballet shows, merengue music, and dancing at one of La Romana's nightspots. For a more relaxing evening, try one of the many restaurants along the coast or stay at an all inclusive resort, eat way too much food, go to bed every night at 7:30 with a full belly, wake up at 2:00 A.M. to throw up, and return home a fat pig.

Learn more about this author, Trent Lorcher.
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