by Becky Webb

Created on: July 26, 2008   Last Updated: September 03, 2008

Though it hasn't always been so we now live in a society where we feel like we are entitled to instant gratification. We want what we want and we want it right now. Unfortunately, that same belief has translated over into marriage. We believe that we should be able to have sex with whomever and whenever we want, as well as get married, and get divorced whenever we want. This mindset is absolutely detrimental to the family structure in our country today. This very idea can cause many to be open minded to affairs, unhealthy relationships that take place before the "I do's", as well as divorce.

Not only that but we have a very confused idea of what is happiness, who makes us happy, and what someone needs to do in order to keep us happy. I have found that in my marriage, there are times of course my husband drives me crazy. But at the same times I have committed to love and serve him no matter the cost. I made my vows before my husband but most important before God. Vows made before God need to be taken very seriously. Unfortunately I don't think many do. When marriage gets difficult it is important to do whatever it takes in order to communicate and make that marriage better. Things like going to marriage counseling or truly put the other before yourself. Happiness ultimately is a state of mind. Happiness is a choice and our own responsibility, not the responsibility of a spouse or a child.

Marriages go bad once we or our spouse decided to stop putting their other half first. They go bad once we start looking to other things to take the place of our serving our spouse and our family. Things such as hobbies, jobs, and other people can easily take the place of your marriage relationship. A commitment such as a marriage commitment is a decision to love and serve someone until "death do us part". Ultimately marriages almost always fail because of selfishness and because we have our own agenda and don't allow even our spouse to be part of our agenda.

Once our society realizes that relationships take time, and healing takes time in a relationship when someone hurts you and couples are ready to work on their marriages, and set themselves aside, there will not be quite as many that go bad and fail. Marriage difficult but difficult things take work. If you aren't willing to work and you are waiting to get swept off your feet, don't get married. Marriage takes a life long commitment and the ability to set yourself aside.

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