by Jeanette Mcdonough

Created on: July 26, 2008   Last Updated: April 01, 2011

The death of a loved one, even when it is expected, leaves a tremendous void. The ones left behind are faced with the profound task of picking up the pieces of their lives and finding a way to go on. It may be helpful for a person who is faced with such a loss to understand that there are several stages involved with the grieving process that include denial, bargaining, depression, anger and eventually acceptance (http://www.uiowa.edu/~ucs/griefloss.html).

These stages of grief may not happen in this particular order, and sometimes, a stage may be repeated. People vary in the way they express their grief and further, people heal at different rates as well (http://davidkessler.org/items-of-interest/5-stages- of-grief/). At first, there is often a sense of disbelief. Psychologist and counselors often refer to this as denial. This stage of grief doesn't have a clear cut ending. For some, it can take a long time before it all hits home, but come it must before healing can begin.

The second stage is frequently referred to as bargaining. It is during this time when people begin to ask questions. For instance, they may begin to obsess about things they could have done to prevent the death. If the bereaved believes in a higher power, they may plead with their God to give them another chance, promising to become a better person, or to do good works... if only they could have their loved one back. Anger often replaces bargaining and pleading turns to blame and rage. Anger can be vague and generalized or can be leveled at a specific person or group of people.

When depression finally hits, the agony can be crippling. Many people experience hopelessness, trouble sleeping or eating, loss of weight or weight gain, interpersonal conflict, thoughts of suicide, loss of interest in living and difficulty performing daily tasks. Eventually, most people reach the stage called acceptance. It is at this point that life resumes a more normal state. While the loved on is never forgotten, it is possible to find joy in living once again. There are some things that seem to help the grieving process and provide some comfort during an awful time. For example, reaching out to others during this time can provide a lifeline to the bereaved.

Many people have the urge to isolate themselves in times of grief. This strategy is rarely productive. In fact, reaching out to others often provides comfort and strength when things are at that worst. (http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/Grief/g rief.html,

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