by Amy Gallagher

Created on: July 26, 2008

Case Worker at A Shelter for Women,
Criminology Minor, and a Victim Herself

Last year, I began my first year at University. One of the programs I'm studying is criminology, which is something that I have been interested in for a number of years. This summer, I am a student working in a woman's shelter. The women in this shelter are victims of abuse. I primarily work with the youth caseworker at this shelter, as some women stay at this shelter with their children.

I really enjoy working at this shelter. I have been able to learn more about violence and abuse, which is a topic that interests me and has interested me for a few months at very least. I am really enjoying my summer. At least when it comes to this job and everything.
However, with the sweet comes the sour. After living in residence for eight months and working at a woman's shelter, I made another discovery, a realization that is much, much more personal and closer to home.
I came home from living in residence and saw that I had a mother who was making a lot of demands, never looking at the things I did, never thanked me or congratulated me for them, and was always complaining about things that I had forgotten, bad things in her day, and the list doesn't end. I had a mom who, instead of loving me, was in fact putting me down.
And I realized that this wasn't something that happened while I was gone. It was something that has been going on for years.
The more I worked at the shelter and the more I learned about violence, the more I realized that this was almost a form of abuse, of conjugal violence. The one thing I never expected or dreamed that I would live is being done to me by one of last people, whom I thought would do this to me. My own mom has been metaphorically stabbing' me and putting me down for years.
As hard as it was, it is perhaps harder now, because I have to take out the knife that my mom stuck inside me. And I think that it's going to be a while before the knife is out and before the wound is healed.
This summer has taught me a great many things. The things I haven't finished doing I am determined to see them through, all of which are good things. But now there is a negative thing I would like to see through. As of September, I no longer want to live with, talk to, or be in contact with my mother. I want to put an end to the violence and abuse that she has done to me, to the pain that she gave me.
I want to put an end to this, because I can't take this any longer. The worst part is that it's been going on for years. I'm just sorry it took me so long to see it.

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