by Jennifer J. Raymond

Created on: July 25, 2008

Teens are in such a hurry to become adults. They are so desperate to prove their independence to themselves, their parents and their peers. Yet they forget that they are still so young and vulnerable, which is something they should cherish, although they never realise this at the time. The role of parents is to allow their teens to develop their independence, whilst still providing them with a sense of security. By giving teens a sensible curfew, the teen knows where the boundaries lie. They can feel safe in the knowledge that at the end of their night out, although they may love an extra few minutes with their friends, they know that their parents are at home waiting for their safe return. This can only strengthen the bond between parents and teens. What would be achieved by allowing a teen to stay out all night? Those teens that boast about how late they can stay out may appear overjoyed at first, but deep down what are they really thinking? Are they wondering why their have parents allowed this, and worrying that maybe their parents just don't care about them. If so, these kinds of worries in teenagers will undoubtedly lead to a whole range of other issues in the future.

Parents will also feel more secure and confident in their parenting skills by introducing a successful curfew. It will firstly lessen the worry of wondering what time their teen will come home, of course it will not remove the worry completely as this kind of worry never really goes away, even when a child has grown up. It will also reinforce the parent-child relationship, which can often get lost through parents wanting to appear as more of a friend to their teen in the hope of letting them open up to them about any problems. Whilst having good communication with a teen is important, equally, so is knowing that parents are there to look after their children and providing rules which ensure their safety is of the utmost importance.

The curfew doesn't have to be set in stone; it is something that can undergo negotiation, for example for good behaviour or a special occasion. Even the most well behaved teens will occasionally break the rules. But once a teen has shown that they can adhere to the curfew, parents can then decide whether or not to loosen the curfew. And after all, teenage years wouldn't be the same without a good old tantrum about wanting to stay out longer....how I miss those days!

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