Farewell my Friend

On July 2, 2008 we lost our beloved beagle, Buddy. He would have been nine in august. I don't want to say that he was "the world's greatest dog ever" since that is only opinion and highly subject to interpretation but hey, he was the best. He was my nutty buddy, my lover bug, my regal beagle, my sweet sweet baby beagle and he was gone long before His time.

There was nothing anyone could do; Buddy's fate was sealed by lung cancer. The x-rays were undeniable; there was no image of lungs, just a tumor the size of a baseball and several dozen more ranging in size from grapes to apricots. The doctor said he was in terrible pain but he didn't have to tell me. Earlier that day buddy gave me the "look". While I'd never seen it before it brought me to tears instantly and I knew exactly what he was trying to tell me, he was dying and he was ready. In a way the vet became our second opinion confirming what I so desperatly wanted to deny.

The following day we took Buddy to the vet one last time to end his suffering and begin ours. I stayed with Buddy as he left us, looking straight into his big brown beautiful eyes I saw the life of my best buddy slip away. I didn't need the doctor to tell me he was gone, I knew instantly. Tears poured from my eyes like never before as I whispered to buddy that I was sorry and I loved him and would never forget him. I wrapped my arms around him, my lips kissing his little head while my tears bounced off his fur. I caressed his big floppy ears as I always did and told him I didn't want to leave him. After about five minutes I needed new tissues and while they were only five feet away I didn't want to leave him.

Now I'm not a spiritual person in any way but when I went back to buddy something had changed. He was gone. Not his body of course but his soul, he just seemed empty. I swear I thought my heart would stop. How could I have left him even for a moment? I wasn't ready yet. On the other hand I don't think I ever would have been. I'd like to think that Buddy took that brief opportunity to leave so that we could both go on. We loved each other very much.

I don't think I will ever get over the loss of my beagle and I know there will never be another dog like him but I am glad that I could be there for him in his final moments as he was there for me so many times before.

R.I.P. Buddy 8-13-2000 - 7-02-2008

Learn more about this author, Diane Andujar.
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