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I'd always wanted to golf in a foreign country. I could tell the locals how throwing your golf bag into the lake after getting plucked in the stomach by your tee shot that ricocheted off the Weeping Willow 40 yards to the left was a token of politeness where I was from.

In a foreign country, I could curse all I wanted after choking a six-foot putt or chipping the ball 35 yards past the green from the fringe. I could even swear at other golfers while smiling and they would never know I was cursing their ancestry.

My fantasy finally became reality.

Then I realized Canadians spoke English.

I did get in some championship golf, however, before being deported.

The next time you plan a golf vacation, check out the championship caliber courses in Whistler, British Columbia... in Canada... where they speak English.

BIG SKY GOLF AND COUNTRY CLUB
www.bigskygolf.com
Green fees: $49-$129

Thanks to a lack of real estate development, the Big Sky Golf Course is free of houses, which means instead of hooking your tee shot into the side of some guy's house, who looks dumbfounded that a ball hit his house even though he bought a house on the golf course, you hook it into a lake or a mountain.

Golf Digest called it one of the top 50 courses in North America, which didn't prevent me from shooting a 50 on the first 3 holes. However, a visit to the Big Sky Golf Academy might help get my score in double digits (on their nine hole academy course).

In awe of the incredible surroundings and amazing course appearance, I decided not to cause an international incident over the theft of Montana's nickname.

Nicklaus North Golf Course
www.golfbc.com
Green fees: $49-$189

Golf Digest called the Nicklaus North Golf Course "one of Canada's best new courses." While hunting for my golf ball in the wooded area alongside the 7th hole fairway, I called it the "if a moose comes bounding over, I'm going to piss my pants and run like hell course."

In awe of the incredible surroundings and amazing course appearance, I decided not to cause an international incident over the name theft of one of the United State's greatest golfers. When I realized Jack Nicklaus had created the course, I complimented myself for showing restraint.

Just in case golf doesn't provide an adequate amount of frustration, you can get married at the adjacent country club and never golf again.

Chateau Whistler Golf Club
www.fairmontgolf.com
Green fees $59-$195

Chateau Whistler Golf Club brags, "incredible natural features such as exposed rock faces,

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