by Kelsey Allan

Created on: July 24, 2008   Last Updated: January 05, 2009

As I made my way slowly through the crowd, I wondered to myself why I'd even come. Ryan had invited me but he'd be playing with his band for most of the night. It wasn't like I ever hung out with or even just talked to any of these people. Sure, I knew a lot of them from school and through my brother, but they weren't my crowd. I wasn't one of them.

But Ryan had talked me into it. He'd reminded me that I'd promised to go to one of these band nights someday, and that I always talked about how I wanted to see him play with his other band, the one that Sam wasn't in. It was true. I'd said both those things, but at the time hadn't really thought about it.

People called out greetings to me, and a few even stopped to ask how I was doing. The questions always led to conversations about Sam, though, because that was all we had in common. After a while, it got pretty boring. The stories were all the same, the memories as well. Everyone just repeated the same words. Whenever I got caught in a web of my brother, I made up some excuse and pulled myself away.

Finally, Ryan's band started playing. I pushed my way to the front so I could see him clearly. Once again - probably the millionth time since we became friends - I wondered what he saw in me. What made me so interesting? He was one of the coolest guys I knew; and he was popular, too. Every girl in school secretly had a little bit of a crush on him. But who wouldn't? I watched him sing, watched him play guitar, putting everything he had into it. There was a spark in Ryan's eye that made me want to melt the moment he glanced down and noticed I was standing there. For a few minutes, he only looked at me. He sang to me and everyone noticed. I felt eyes boring into the back of my head, but I could only stare right back at him. It was all I could do.

Tonight was the night I would forever look back on as the turning point in our relationship. I had been mulling over my feelings regarding Ryan for a while now. I had wondered on occasion if we were meant to be anything more than friends, if we were ever going to go any further than a hug. But tonight I somehow knew for sure. I just felt it the moment he looked down and sang straight to me. It was suddenly out there in the open. I understood that he, too, wanted more. I think everyone else at school and at home knew already, had seen it before either of us. They weren't surprised at all.

His band was great, of course. And when they had finished their set, Ryan put his guitar down

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