by Stephanie Mccown

Created on: July 24, 2008

"Women want to be free to choose from the same range of options that men take for granted. ...But until women can move freely and think freely in their homes, on the streets, in the workplace without the fear of violence, there can be no real freedom." -Anita Roddick

This idea is one that has been on my mind since I left my husband a little over two months ago, and began to process all that happened in that short but deeply-wounding marriage. It occurred to me that, as women, we have collectively worked so hard for freedom, but how far have we come?

We are able to have careers, working in fields of expertise where we were once told we did not belong, because it was not "our place". We can vote...that's a big one. We can hold political office, and while our country may not yet be ready for a female president, that day will yet come. (Though, honestly, I am not sure even I want a female for a president, but that's another story...) Generally speaking, we are able to live a life that far exceeds what women would have dreamed of even a generation ago. In many ways, we are empowered to be completely self-sufficient, and marriage and family is a choice we make because it is what we want, not because it is something we are told we have to have in order to fulfill our one and only reason for existing.

I think the progress we have made is wonderful. Yet, are we free?

The culture we live in still marginalizes and objectifies us. An industry that was once kept behind closed doors is now becoming ever more mainstream, and makes multbillions in annual sales by portraying women as objects to be controlled. The women participating in this industry say their chosen profession is an act of freedom of their personal expression, not realizing they are enslaved, and enslaving others, to a mentality that effectively decimates any progress women have collectively made. Until we demand to be respected as human beings in practice, not simply viewed as human beings in theory, we are not truly free. Any progress we have made toward that end is undone by every media publication that portrays us as anything less than human beings worthy of dignity and respect.

As women, we are told we are the "fixers" and the "nurturers" in our relationships. Therefore, if our partners or spouses abuse us, our initial reaction is often, "What did I do that made him do that? How can I fix it so he will be okay, and stop treating me this way?" Rather, we should be free to recognize that we never deserve to be

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