by Lisa H Warren

Created on: July 23, 2008

Shyness can be different in different people, and some shyness would actually be considered, "social anxiety disorder". Whether someone has shyness or even social anxiety disorder, it may not so much be a matter of "curing" it, as finding ways to live with it.

In cases of social anxiety disorder (as with most disorders), the disorder can be present in varying degrees. Medication may help some sufferers, although that may not be the right approach for all. Not all shyness would be considered "full-blown" social anxiety disorder, but there are some things people who are uncomfortable in social situations can do, regardless of the extent or diagnosis of their discomfort.

The following techniques are not associated in any way with any psychiatry-based approach to dealing with social anxiety disorder. They are simple techniques that anyone can use to feel more comfortable, become more sociable, and communicate in social situations.

Whether or not they are techniques can be put into practice by any one individual with social anxiety disorder depends on the individual and degree to which his social anxiety disorder hinders his functioning.

Technique 1:

Tell yourself that many people feel some degree of discomfort or uncertainty among strangers, and assume the stranger you encounter is just like you. Decide to treat that stranger the way you would like to be treated, and think of some small way to make him feel more at ease.

When you call upon your altruistic nature and take it upon yourself to be the one to make someone else feel a little more at ease you gain confidence, as well as take some control over the awkward situation.

You don't need to wait to meet someone new to use this technique, and practicing using it offers you the chance to experience social situations in a new way. Depending on the amount of time you spend with a stranger, and depending on the situation, think of appropriate ways to practice this technique.

For example, if you are in a long check-out line at the store, find some small, friendly, comment to make to someone nearby. It doesn't need to be more than that. The key is that you are the one to make the comment. Usually, the other person will respond with a similar comment. If he only smiles or acknowledges in some other way that's fine too. You aren't looking to make a friend. Your aim is to add warmth to a cold or dull situation.

While standing in lines look around for something that strikes you. In a store, if there's a big crowd make a comment

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