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Damaged Goods:

There will be no peace or spiritual rescue tonight for her demons have been very busy placing the old stumbling blocks anew. Yes, tonight is another one of those deep nights, restless, thick, and emotionally suffocating. Aubrey's body is so very tired, yet her mind rapidly searches for protection against her relentless fears. Aimlessly her thoughts wander here and there towards forbidden places and unlocked doors. She cannot stop. She cannot fully rest or sleep. Darkness muffles the music of her mind. Again and again she is abandoned and unsafe. Aubrey can't even manage a scream to break this living nightmare.

Her thoughts steer themselves and she experiences snapshots of misery rediscovered. Unresolved feelings that were once buried alive appear before her growing large and heavy. Aubrey is a frightened child once more. Bits and pieces of unpleasant memories hunt after her and another frightful journey begins to a time she didn't survive, events Aubrey has never escaped. It's always her fault and there is no one to trust, not even herself.

She was born on a cold night, cold for Los Angeles. It was not Aquarius rising in the heavens as she had been told, but Cassiopeia, Parseaus, with Aries low in the evening sky. These constellations were twinkling, muted and misty as they witnessed overhead. The moon was missing, new and dark. She was not a child of the greater light, joyful and privileged, nor was she a child of the lesser light, appreciated and loved. She was not a free spirited child of the eleventh sign of the zodiac, but a sad little girl of the least of the lights set in the heavens with her dreams fashioned from their stardust waiting to be acknowledged or blown away.

Cold, helpless and defeated she entered an uncertain world becoming the fifth member of the family, the third child forsaken, and the first daughter of a man and a woman no longer in love; if ever. No, Aubrey was not a cuddly bundle of promise or daddy's little girl; she was a gambling chip of low value. She was an ill-conceived idea in a premeditated effort to rescue and save a broken relationship and financially secure her mother's position. Aubrey's assigned purpose for being was to help regain and assert some control and advantage, to force one partner to remain in an unwanted marriage or force him to pay the price. The plan didn't work and the payments fell to Aubrey the ultimate victim.

Her birth was not a celebration of the triumphs of love and happiness. There were many

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